Nov. 21 2016
The Best Parenting Advice Ever Given to Me...
I have three little tiny teeny people. Yes, I’m the proud mama of my twin 3 ½ year-old girls and my 3-month little boy and they rock my world. Truth be told, there was a time not so long ago, that I ached to be a mama so bad I feared that it might not happen. You see, my husband and I were married for 8 years before we started our family.
Looking back now, I’m incredibly thankful for the years we had together alone before having kiddos. During those eight years, my husband completed a lot of schooling, a lot. Also during that time, we endured the sudden loss of my mother in law. These factors kept postponing (and understandably so) our timing to start our family.
Finally, my husband completed his program, and our hearts were slowing healing. It wasn’t too long before we realized we were pregnant, with TWINS (yes, naturally)! As soon as that happened the flood gates opened and I was bombarded with “the baby world.” I received tons of mail, magazines, emails, unsolicited advice….it was truly information overload for this girl. And if I’m being completely honest, there was a part of me that was really scared about losing “me”. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted this more than anything and I was overjoyed that we were having twins…but at the same time, I was worried.
I was worried that being a mom would take over my identity.
It wasn’t until one day I was talking to my OBGYN (I believe we were discussing breastfeeding at the time) and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Whatever makes YOU the happiest, will make YOUR children the happiest.”
I tell you what, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t repeat those words to myself. Those words are applicable in nearly every aspect of parenting life.
Breastfeeding moms, corporate moms, stay at home moms, and freaks like me = Mamaprenuers.
The truth is, being a parent is hard. And the hardest part…is how critical we can be of ourselves when it comes to parenting. Because raising children doesn’t stop, it’s constant and continuous. And “mom guilt” is the WORST.
I should be home right now; my kids miss me. We shouldn’t go on a stay- cation, we should use that money towards swim lessons, uggh the house should be cleaner and more organized for my family. The thoughts go on and on.
But at the end of the day…it goes back to the question “Was I a happy mom today?” Sure, not every day is always YES…but I think if most days can be YES…then I feel like I’m doing alright. And the best part, this has definitely helped me immensely with “finding myself in being a mom.” I didn’t lose myself afterall. Sure my responsibilities of being a mother require the largest part of my life, but I’m still able to be me and do the things I love to do. Though, they may be limited, planned out way in advance, and require some budgeting tweaks… but all in all my little people continue to help and challenge me become a better person.
So to my fellow mamas or soon to be mamas….ask yourself “what makes YOU happy” and continue to do it, it’s “okay.” I’m sending you a virtual hug, and I’m here if you need a sitter too…heck it’s already a circus around here J